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  • Spammers Are Funny

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    December 12th, 2009HARTHmmmm Things

    I must have received a gabillion comments in moderation from this IP address by now … IP: 89.28.114.111 … and every comment in moderation has some reference or spelling similar to Viagra .. I thought I would post some of these comments in here for a laugh!

    * I can not solve. Wanna good joke? What do you get when you have a cow and a duck? Milk and quackers.

    * I apologise, but, in my opinion, you are not right. I am assured. Write to me in PM. I have a nice fresh joke for you people) What time is it when the clock strikes 13? Time to get the clock fixed.

    * I have read a good joke in internet 😉 What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now? Decomposing.

    * I have a fresh joke for you) How do you keep a bagel from getting away? Put lox on it!

    * Nice joke! What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that runs for help, after he bites your leg off.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.

    * A JOKE! ) What do you get if you cross a giant and a vampire? A BIG pain in the neck!

    * A joke for you! Did you hear about the pregnant bedbug? She had her baby in the spring.

    * Wanna very nice joke?)) Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.

    * Nice joke! How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!

    * Fresh joke! Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho.

    * I have a fresh joke for you) What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes.

    * I have a nice joke. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

    * Oh, good joke) Why did the bunnies go on strike? They wanted a raise in celery.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you call an artificial stone? A shamrock.

    * Wanna good joke? Why does a turtle live in a shell? Because it can’t afford an apartment.

    * Wanna very nice joke?)) Where did the vegetables go to get drunk? The Salad Bar.

    * Oh, good joke) What happens to illegally parked frogs? They get toad away.

    * I have a nice joke for you) What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Why is a bell obedient? It rings only when it is TOLLED!

    * I have a fresh joke for you) A neutron goes into a barber shop and asks the barber, “How much for a haircut?” The barber replies, “For you, no charge.”

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 Did you hear about the new restaurant that opened in India? It’s a New Delhicatessen.

    * Wanna very nice joke?)) What did the Scotsman do when he couldn’t find a pair of pants? He kilt himself.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Did you hear about the bandit that held up a Chinese restaurant? Half an hour later he was broke.

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 What do you call a frightened scuba diver? Chicken of the sea.

    * Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) What does a dog get when it finishes obedience school? A pet degree.

    * I have a nice joke for you) What did the Scotsman do when he couldn’t find a pair of pants? He kilt himself.

    * I have a joke for you =) What geometric figure represents a lost parrot? A polygon.

    * A JOKE! ) What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.

    * Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.

    * I have a nice joke for you) What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.

    * I have a joke for you =) What farm animal is a cannibal? A Cow, it eats it’s fodder!

    * I have a nice joke for you) What did the elephant say to the naked man? How can you breathe through that?

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Which side of a dog has the most hair? The outside.

    * A joke for you peoples! What is the difference between a fisherman and a lazy schoolboy? One baits his hook, while the other hates his book.

    * A joke for you peoples! What did one cloned sheep say to the other? I am ewe.

    * When you order frogs legs at a restaurant what do they do with the rest of the frog ? – Well surely they just throw the rest of the frog away and take it to the tip.

    * Nice joke! Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because there were no chickens in those times.

    * A joke for you! What day does a fish hate? Fry day.

    * I have a nice joke for you people! 🙂 How can you tell if a planet is married? It has a ring around it.

    * A JOKE! ) What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.

    * I have a joke for you =) How do you get a frog off the back window of your car? Use the rear defrogger.

    * Oh, good joke) Why is a turkey more evil than a chicken? Because a turkey is always a gobblin (a goblin)

    * I have a joke for you =) How can you make a slow horse fast? Stop feeding him!!

    * I have a fresh joke for you) What has four legs, is big, green, furry, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.

    * Wanna joke?) Why did the garbage look sad? Because it was down in the dumps.

    * Nice joke! What do you call a day that follows two days of rain? Monday.

    * I have read a good joke in internet 😉 What do ghouls wear on their feet in the rain?!? GHOULOSHES!!!

    * Nice joke! What has more lives than a cat? A frog. It croaks every night.

    * A joke for you peoples! What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? A roaming Catholic.

    * I have a joke for you =) What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

    * A joke for you peoples! What’s happening when you hear “woof…splat…meow…splat?” It’s raining cats and dogs.

    * A joke for you peoples! What city has the largest rodent population? Hamsterdam.

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 What is the most popular wine at Christmas? “Can’t we open the presents yet?”

    * I have a nice joke. Samantha: Doctor, my son thinks that he is a TV channel changer. What are the odds that you can save him? Doctor: Remote!!

    * Wanna joke?) What did one rabbit say to the other rabbit? Nothing. Rabbits can’t talk.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! What type of fish play poker? Card sharks.

    * I have a nice joke for you people! 🙂 What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.

    * I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Why is an evil witch like a candle? They are both WICKED

    * Wanna joke?) What do you get when you drop boiling water down a rabbit hole? Hot cross bunnies.

    * I have a nice joke for you) Why do elephants trumpet? They don’t know how to play the violin.

    * I have a nice joke for you people! 🙂 Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?Because it SOOTS him!

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Who is Dracula’s favorite person on the baseball team? The BAT boy!

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 What did the sailor say when he saw a boat loaded with ewes? Sheep ahoy!

    * How much money would an average college philosopher make?

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 Why did Willie Nelson get hit by a car? He was playing on the road again.

    * Fresh joke! Why do carpenters believe that there is no such thing as stone? Because they never SAW it!!

    * Good joke 🙂 Did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.

    * A JOKE! ) What do you get when you play a country music song backward? You get your wife back, you get your job back, you stop drinking …

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! What kind of music do ghosts listen to? Sheet music.

    * A joke for you peoples! The dreaded Amish flu: First you get a little hoarse. Then you get a little buggy.

    * I have a nice joke for you) What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.

    * I have a good fresh joke for you! Where does satisfaction come from? A satisfactory.

    * I have read a good joke in internet 😉 Why did the man put wheels on his rocking chair? He wanted to rock and roll.

    * Good joke 🙂 What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.

    * I have a joke for you =) What is the difference between a photocopier and the whooping cough? One makes facsimiles and the other makes sick families.

    * I have a nice joke for you) What insect does well in school? A spelling bee.

    * I have a nice fresh joke for you people) Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage? Ta da dump, ta da dump, ta da dump Dump DUMP!!!

    * Fresh joke! Why is a bell obedient? It rings only when it is TOLLED!

    * Do you want a joke? 🙂 How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path.

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